I want to buy my first Ethereum, but signing up for a big trading exchange looks super complicated with all the charts and jargon. Is there a simpler, beginner-friendly way to just purchase some ETH and have it sent to a wallet without needing to understand limit orders and trading pairs?

Totally get that. You don't need a full exchange for a straightforward purchase. Look for a service that's just a "fiat on-ramp." You pick how much ETH you want, they give you a total price with fees included, you pay, and they send the ETH to your address. It's much more direct. For example, you can check out https://paybis.com/buy-ethereum/. The process is linear and clear, which is ideal for a first-time buy without the trading platform overwhelm.